Kyle's 8

We have had lots going on these last few weeks. Kyle turned 8 on the 2nd of February. He had a great birthday. We celebrated with nana and papa and grandpa Hawkley on Sunday night. Then on his birthday we celebrated with Jake's family. Grandma took him out for icecream and some shopping as she does every year. They love that tradition. He got lots of presents and had a great week. He also got to start scouts on Wednesday and he gets baptized on the 28th. Grandpa Bear is coming in for that weekend to confirm him. We are looking forward to that special weekend.

On a harder note, the divorce is final now. The judge got the paperwork signed pretty quickly, faster than we had anticipated. Jake is in Kentucky working with the Guard for 10 days and when he gets back will have his own home. I start a new job this next week and have been very blessed to have things fall into place at the right times. With the economy the way it is right now, I am so grateful for a job. This job just fell into my lap and is exactly what I needed right now. I hope that it goes well and I can work towards the things that will benefit me and my children. Thanks everyone for their support and well wishes. This time for us has been tough, but I have felt the strength that I need and peace to know that things are going to work out well.

Just a note

Life has been crazy these last few weeks. Once Christmas was over with I was able to start working on getting my nursing license reinstated. I had to do 80 hours in a job setting under the supervision of an RN. I finished that a week ago. I was able to work at the VAMC and really liked it there. Now I have to get my resume out and start looking for a job. Even with the nursing shortage, jobs are slim picking, especially when you want to work a night shift. I hated working the evening shift from 3-11:30pm. I missed my kids sooooooo much. I missed talking to them after they got out of school. I missed snuggling with them before putting them to bed. I just plain missed them. But I have to remember that things will work out how I need them to and Heavenly Father will bless me. My kids are resilient. I think it will be harder on me to go back to work than it will for them to have me gone more. I wish I had that strength.

Christopher was supposed to start basketball last week. I was so excited for him to have this opportunity to get out there and have that social experience. Well the very week before he was supposed to start, he fell on the ice at school and broke his arm. It took me 3 days to take him to the doctor. I wanted to make sure it was really broken and not just bruised before I paid all that money to get him seen. Of course our insurance had changed and we had a gap. Of course...... But he broke both his radius and his ulna. They put him in a splint and told us to come back in a week. When we came back, they said it was healing but thought a different splint with more support would be better. So now we are on splint number 2. Luckily we have not needed a cast. We are at least grateful for that. As long as it is healing in the splint we won't need a cast. He is bummed that he doesn't get to do basketball. But that is life. Ever changing and never boring.

At home things are tense. Jake is still living here in Katy's room. The divorce is almost final. We are just waiting on the judge to sign the papers. It will be nice to be able to move on with life..... Whatever life may bring......

Here is a picture of Katy with a few of her favorite things. Her binky, her blanky and her baby.

Merry Christmas!

I know it has been a while since I blogged last, and I want to thank everyone for their love and support. It is good to know what great friends we have in this life.

We had a great Christmas this year. Very simple and spoiled by the grandparents. Money was very tight for us this year and we have survived with a lot of support. The boys woke up at 6:45 and I held them off by taking a shower to give time for Caden and Katy and dad to wake up. It was really hard to make them wait. In our house, Santa still comes and they loved their gifts.

We had gone to our ward Christmas party and I had told the boys beforehand that if they misbehaved we would not stay for the whole thing. It is hard when it is just me and the 4 kids. (Jake was at home and yes he is still living with us.) We made it through the dinner and then had to leave. They were very upset that they did not get to see Santa. I guess he made a special appearance there. The next week we were invited to go to my parents' ward's Christmas breakfast. Santa was coming and I thought we would try it again. This time with a little help and back up from nana and papa. They did better and were so anxious that they were the first in line to see him. As you can see in the pictures, Christopher is getting a bit big for this. And the picture of Katy with the binky was her face after we tried to introduce her to Santa and she refused.

This season has been busy with family visiting and parties to go to and shows to do and see. It has made the time fly by very quickly. But this is my favorite time of year when I remember how blessed I am and how grateful I am for everything and everyone in my life. It is a very humbling time for me. I am especially grateful for everyone who has expressed concern for me and my family right now. This time is not easy, but I know that soon peace will be in my home and my life. The divorce is not final yet, but we should have the stipulation signed by both of us this next week and then it is a waiting game for the judge to sign it. I think I will relax slightly when Jake has signed the stipulation and it can't be changed without him getting a lawyer. Then I will know we will be on the path to finalize everything. I am sorry that this has had to happen. I am seeing the effects it has had on the kids. But it just isn't meant to work out, not when both are not willing to put in 100%. Again everyone, thanks for the love and support. I look forward to a new year where we can move forward and have positive experiences.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!!!!

(if anyone can help me with how to make a slide show on a post I would appreciate the help, until then sorry about all the pictures.)

Hard Decision

This is a hard post to write..... After a great deal of praying, pondering and talking, Jake and I have decided it is best for us not to be married anymore. There were so many mistakes made in our marriage and there is no one person to blame. I would love to blame everything on Jake and make myself feel better, but that would not be the truth. We both feel that we work well as friends, but were not cut out to be husband and wife.
Our kids are taking this rather well. They are sad, but it amazes me how resilient they are. They are my number one concern. I feel at peace and empowered to take on the challenges that lie ahead. I am getting my nursing license reinstated and look forward to being busier (NOT). I have a lot of support and things are looking up. I am ready to be happy again and standing on my own two feet.

Pretty in Pink Princess (playing in dirt)

Ok, I have said in another post that my little princess hates wearing dresses. Well, here are some more pictures to show you that she comes from a house full of boys. Here she is, so cute in her pink, playing in the dirt and having a fabulous time.

Just some fun pictures!

Kyle had his first basketball game this weekend. He has played only once before and did a great job at the game. His coaches this year are fantastic. We have had awful experiences with Yball coaches. But this year I am pleasantly surprised, they are great!!!!

Happy Halloween everyone!!! This was a fun picture after trick or treating on Friday. The kids had fun. Katy was originally a princess but she hates wearing dresses. Go figure in a house full of boys. She screamed even when she saw it. So my sister-in-law let me borrow the doctor costume. Much better except she wouldn't touch the hat. Caden was a knight, but by the time trick or treating was done, he had taken half of the costume off.

All it took was confidence!!!!

Katy finally started walking. She is just shy of 16 months and has been walking holding on to things for months. Last night she started trying it without holding on. She got a kick out of it and loved how happy we were about it. I got a video today of her walking. She only makes it a few steps, but she finally has the confidence to set out on her own.